ooI've been thinking a lot over the last 2 days about what I blogged about Monday. Evangelism is a funny thing. We are commanded to spread the word (read: evangelize), and yet I struggle so much with what that entails. Truthfully, I think we all do whether or not we express it. I think the idea of being available for God to work through us is often confused with constantly seeking out opportunities to evangelize. I think I confuse it. Are they the same thing? I don't think so. I think as soon as you start thinking like the latter idea you fail at the first point the evangelists father made. As a recap that was: 1. Treat us like people, not projects. You negate any chance of God working through you as you become fixated on what you can do "for" Him. I think as soon as you are seeking out opportunities people lose their humanity; they instantaneously become projects.
I have a lot of non-Christian friends. They mean the world to me. I don't look for opportunities to talk about Christ with them. Ever. Pretty much as a general rule. Is that bad? I don't know. Don't get me wrong, I would love for each and every one of them to come to know Christ, to understand the hope that I have in Him. And naturally it comes up from time to time in random ways. It's not a secret. I'm open. But I don't/wont/hate the idea of rushing any of them. My philosophy is if they want to know they'll ask. Until then I don't worry about it. With some of them its like a pink elephant in the room; an attempt is made to ignore it. I guess it's like that in varying degrees.
So, I'm struggling with this wondering if I conduct myself in friendships appropriately. That sounds awkward, I don't like it. However, I don't know how else to say it. As a side note, I want to come up with a code word for evangelism. Because I kinda hate the word (have you noticed?). I guess you could call me an evangaphobic. When I decide I'll tell you. This is all probably non-sensical. Nonetheless, this is my chosen medium for getting my thoughts out in the open. And maybe you can help me with clarity.
In my reading of SATT today they talked a lot about how God's time is unbenownst to us. God uses different people to accomplish different parts of the process. For any given person, you could be the one to plant the proverbial seed, nourish said seed or reep in the harvest. But, no one knows really what their role is (and that's probably for the best). Given that, I tend to think I am taking the proper approach. It's definitely the approach that allows me to be friends with people who are not like minded spiritually, but otherwise very similar to me. (And by that I mean they want to be friends with me) It allows me to not freak said friends out with being obnoxious and preachy and your average negatively stereotyped Christian. Except the hypocrit stereotype. We all inevitably fit the bill on that one. I think in the last few days I have overthought something that probably doesn't need to be. My mind is a crazy little place.
I want to glorify God the best I can in my life; I want to exemplify what it means to be Christ-like. For fear of sounding like I have it all together let's get it out there that I fail regularly. But, I'll die trying. I may not constantly find people to share the gospel with, but I guess my life story is evangelism. And I'm really not sure that it needs to be more than that. That's a relief. I guess allowing people to be a part of my journey is my disciple-ship. And I think that I need to over analyze things to keep me grounded and humble -- and to reinspire my journey. I think it's important for people to see the ups and downs of my life; too often it gets called hypocrisy, but really its just the beauty of humanity. We all sin. We all fall short of the glory of God. And He loves us anyway.
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You pose an interesting question.. my personal opinion is that if someone knows you are a faithful person, and you behave in a way that demonstrates that belief.. that is enough for most people. In my experience, trying to tell someone about Christ when they don't want to hear about it leaves so much room for resentment and anger. I don't have to walk around announcing to the world that I am a Christian. I do make simple statements like, "I can't do that because I have church tonight." While my attendance at church doesn't say much about my personal relationship with God, it opens doors to people who would like to approach me about it. I think there are places where evangelism can be less passive.. but in situations like you described.. I think you are doing an okay thing. Before I really came back to Christ, I knew who I could go to should I want that in my life again. Be that person that they can come to. Love you.
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